The daughter-in-law relationship
The daughter- in -law relationship is sometimes complicated, just look at the film archive and see how many movies have been shot on the subject, not least “that mother-in-law monster”, complete with a sequel.
Why? Often it happens that the mother-in-law a bit ‘out of fear, a bit’ for selfishness, is too intrusive and wants to “put beak” in the life of the new couple .
This is because being the couple, precisely, a novel, has not yet established its own maturity as a couple, it is still too anchored to the originating families and has not developed its own autonomy .
Problems with the mother-in-law: the management of the grandchildren
If in the beginning the problems with the mother-in-law were mostly tolerable, with the birth of the first child / grandchild things could get worse.
If it is true that the help of the grandparents is essential today (for example, let us think about the costs to be incurred for a baby sitter or nursery), it is also true that we must set rules immediately.
Remember that children spend more time with their grandparents in the first two or three years than with their parents.
So remember to establish, together with your partner, education rules for your children that are shared with the in-laws. This is to avoid annoying successive “battles”.
When the children of one become two, things usually change for the better, either because of the greater expenditure of energy required, or because the first child taught a method.
Divorce because of the mother-in-law?
According to some data of the National Institute of Statistics in third place among the causes of divorce there are precisely the interference of the mother-in-law, which can be as culinary in nature as a method of education with children.
Still on the subject of statistics, a study conducted in England says that around 60% of the daughter-in-law has no good relations with their respective mother-in-law .
How to manage the mother-in-law?
To manage the mother of your partner and his interference, you need to have a method and try to impose rules on yourself:
Do not compete with the mother-in-law, especially in the kitchen, indeed, praise her.
Remember that your mother-in-law is ultimately nothing but a mother. And you took her son away. A little jealousy so there can be. You therefore try not to compete on those things where your husband tends to lean or mum his mom. Not at least at the beginning!
If you cook well, for example, weave his praises, you will become more sympathetic.
Try not to get emotionally involved.
Try to “put out the fire” whenever something is wrong, try not to give importance to the little “betrayals” of your partner with the mother-in-law.
NEVER compare it to your mother.
Never ever utter phrases like “my mother wouldn’t have done so …”, she would unconsciously unleash a child-mother-in-law alliance hard to beat.
Involve your partner by creating common rules
Try to create a set of rules that involve your family life and that concern both his mother but also your mother. Make no difference.